Zak the "Protective" alter

Hi again guys, decided I would expand the information on Zak. (Don't worry, the blog will become more of an update of my habbits, for now I am just introducing you to the family in my mind).

Most D.I.D sufferers (in fact I can't think of a single person I know that doesn't have this) have a "Protective" alter. Because of the trauma we went through in our past, our subconcious mind instantly tries to protect us. The age of a protective alter can vary from person to person.

This alter is called the "Protective" alter simply for the reason that they are there to protect us from being harmed. When someone with D.I.D goes through therapy, they can learn to communicate with their Protective alter really well and learn what exactly will trigger their Protective alter.

Zak is extremely proctective of me and is a completely different "person" from me (of course he's still an alter, but if you met him, you would realise that he's nothing like me at all). Zak is very confident in himself, very strong minded and easy to defend. Whilst it sounds great to have a protective alter (and he's laughing as I'm thinking this) Zak does have his flaws, (he doesn't want to admit it but he does).

He is over competitive and is triggered by male competition, competitive behaviour, if someone is slightly threatening towards myself or my partner or is triggered when another alter is really really kicking off (aka Rob and Bick that were mentioned in the introduction to my alters blog). Zak also has high testosterone levels, which can make him a handful.

While he has his flaws, he has protected me in several instances, which has proven his title as my protective alter.

As a particular instance and as for an educational real life experience for you, I will tell you of the last time Zak protected me (besides keeping things quite).

A little while ago I went to the doctors complaining of tiredness and the doctors decided to send me for a blood test that morning. Now heres where the change in alters took place.

I have a huge fear of needles that I keep trying to be brave about, but that morning I was really upset about other things, so I couldnt handle having an injection on top of that, and because I was more scared than anything else, my child alter, Sammy came out.

Sammy had the blood test done and the doctors realised that one of my alters were out. Sammy called my mum and Partner to let them know that she was lost and she didn't understand what was going on. After leaving Sammy in a hallway for over an hour, a doctor finally came to tend to her and realised that she wasn't behaving like the 20 year old that she looked like. The doctor called the mental health team and discussed things in front of Sammy. Sammy warned them that Rob was being very loud and she didnt feel safe but they left her in the hall way again to 'calm down' before she could go home.

Sammy got scared and decided to leave the doctors. Unfortunately she got that scared that Rob came out and went on a mission to kill me (He is violent in the sense that he will do anything to try and get rid of me). My partner contacted the police as no one knew where I was for over 2-3 hours.

To my luck; Rob was about to throw me in front of a train at a train track some while away, when Zak came out to stop it from happening.

Zak then walked us safely home, explained the situation but eventually I was able to return to greet my partner and the police. Zak protected me and my family by coming out and bringing us home. It sounds easy for Zak to do, and you're probably wondering why he didn't come out in the first place, but there is a certain degree to how and when they are able to take over my body; not to suggest that I have control of it, just that the alter that is out at the time has a certain level of being able to stop another alter coming out; quite commonly the protective alter not being able to get out is how most D.I.D sufferers end up in a fatal accident.

Why didn't I stop all of this? I couldnt. As far as I was aware, I thought I was blacked out. One minute I was in the doctors, the next I was in my partners room; its like a step in my life has been skipped, and the only reason I have been able to relay the information above to you, is from the word of mouth from Zak and the information given to me by mother and partner.

So as you can see, a lot of D.I.D sufferers are very reliant on the help of their protective alter; I know I certainly rely on Zak. But every D.I.D sufferers protective alter is different, and what my protective alter is, might be the complete opposite (in mannorisms) from someone elses; but share the same role in that they are here to protect this body.

I hope this has helped you to understand a bit more about protective alters; again if you have any questions about Zak, feel free to ask and he may be able to reply to you, or I certainly will.

Willow xxx